Aspirations and Apprehensions

    Whenever people ask me questions “heyy ! what do you want to do in your life?” ,here at my hometown they expect me to give answers such as an engineer , a lawyer , a doctor and yes i give them the desired reply. But its not an honest one for on the inside i am screaming to get away from these bondages. No i don’t want to become an engineer or anything as such,I just want to play violin , learn how to skate ,fly kites, visit valley of flowers , join a soccer team and to go on a long unplanned journey with just my camera and a backpack. But it doesn’t work like that , one has to earn money and for that one has to work hard ,my family tells me that. Then after a while you realize that in putting everything right and in the rat race of existence, you lost yourself somewhere. You lost all those dreams and aspirations , you get so entangled in this humdrum you just don’t think of it any more or even if they come to you for a moment you reject them as a fool’s errand. You yourselves look upon your hidden aspirations as childish.

On the one hand my family encourages me to achieve these big goals, get a reputed job, do something extraordinary.On the other hand when it comes to safety they ask me to keep my head low and not to retort if someone’s passing snide or cheap comments at me. Its funny that i am asked to dress in a way which doesn’t attract attention. There have been instances which compell me to think that my clothes are never the reason for eve teasing, its in their minds and dressing modestly just creates an impression for them that the girl wont create a scene and will let the matter pass. I dont blame my parents ,it’s not their fault. they are plagued by the fear, what if someone throws acid at her or she doesnt return home after classes. These incidents are swelling up in numbers. These days going out  is not easy but its not impossible .There are good things too in the form of trusted friends , sweet memories and the hope of fulfilling my aspirations .These apprehensions seem too small in comparison then.


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